"a fortunate stroke of serendipity"

Sunday, November 29, 2015

One Year

Top 10 things I've learned* in the first year of marriage:
It's our one year anniversary! Yay! It has really been the most amazing year! From New York and Hawaii, to new jobs and graduating, we have had a lot of new adventures together! Josh is amazing and has been so good to me! 
But instead of continuing with all the mushy stuff (I do that enough already) I thought I'd give you all some more insight on my experience so far. 
Sometimes I read other people's posts and think "wow is marriage really suppose to be that blissful?" 
Marriage is a joy! but can I honestly say blissful? Probably not. 
Instead I would say, over the past year Josh and I have come so far and have learned so many things through our ups and downs that it really makes my heart filled with joy because it's not always been easy- we have grown so much and in turn so has our love! 

#1. Marriage is like sandpaper. You can literally feel the rough edges being rounded out. Never in my life have I felt more aware of my short comings but never in my life have I felt a more active change for the better 

#2. Everyone has differences. As much as I hate it when a random stranger says to me, "how's your marriage going? Isn't it really hard with the cultural differences?" (True story, I actually get asked this) the truth is that ALL marriages have cultural differences we have to over come because we were all raised differently! For us we have a little more work than the average couple but also a little more understanding coming into the marriage that there would be so 

#3. My husband is not a therapist. You know I'm a therapist right? Well, so sometimes I come home with all these "but how do you feel about that?" kind of questions. Josh on the other hand is a computer guy. I've learned to understand that my husband feels more than he always talks about and listens more than I actually think. He doesn't need to dig deep into my inner conscious and read my mind order to be there for me emotionally. Him listening and putting forth an effort to understand is his way of really showing he cares- even if he doesn't always have the perfect thing to say

#4. I'm not the best cook/cleaning person. At the beginning of our marriage I clogged the Toilet with a bleach cube and it was clogged for more than two months and overflowed all the time. I'm kind of messy sometimes but I am so grateful for a husband who equally cleans and washes dishes as much as I do! 

#5. The best feeling in the world is watching your spouse succeed and over come challenges. Josh never knew how to swim but for the past couple of years that we've known each other he has put forth so much effort to overcome his fear and learn how to swim. This year in Hawaii he decided to jump off a waterfall. I had never been more scared or proud as he hit the water and then came back up and swam to the shore! Seriously he came from not wanting to get in a swimming pool, to that! So proud! 

#6. The sun will always come out tomorrow. Even when we're both having a hard day and we might be a little grumpy I've learned to kiss goodnight and then you'll wake up in the morning with much more reasonable attitudes- most of the time 

#7. I love Josh now more than ever and it is amazing to see how love grows. Gently and over time you start to see what's more important and that our imperfections have made that love for each other stronger as we have had to constantly make over selves better. The growth we've experienced is like this amazing journey, that looking back on, it just makes us feel more empowered to continue to grow

#8. Let it go, let it go! -nuff said 

#9. I am so lucky that I have a husband that puts up with my specific kind of crazy. Sometimes I fret about the idea that Josh and I need to find more things in common but the truth is we are different. He's the ying to my yang and the one thing that's perfect is that he's perfect for me. He sees me. He knows all the weirdness that I am and he is equally as weird in his own ways, and we both accept and thrive off of our unique quirkiness. 

#10. Love is a choice. How loving you feel or act during a day really depends on how you consciously choose to be. I've found that sometimes I need to remind myself to treat my husband like I would treat my best friend. Doesn't sound too romantic but it's true, and it works! 

I love my Joshua so much! It has truly been an amazing first year together and I cannot wait to see what the next eternity brings us!

I love you Josh! Thank you so much for all you do for me everyday and the sacrifices you make for our family. You are truly the most amazing man with the best heart. I am so happy to be your wife. 

*by "learned" I really mean "still learning"
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