Mix

Photography// Xan Craven Shoes and Diaper bag // Mix Kids Dresses// SweetHannahB

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MixHandmadeShop

______________________{ Mix Handmade }_____________________

From the very beginning, Josh and I have been dreaming up a way to celebrate his roots and give back to his home country of Ghana. We came up with an idea to start a shop specializing in using the beautiful and traditional wax print cloth. The cloth captures Ghana in very way, nearly as vibrant as the people, colorful and creative, and the trademark of Ghana. We wanted to bring traditional Ghana and design it in a fun and modern way. 

We've dabbled in making many different products. We went through idea after idea but after having Isla we knew what we wanted to do: Mom + baby.

The bright and colorful fabric exudes childhood. Plus what's cuter than baby shoes right?! 

Our diaper bags and purses are also handmade using beautiful Ghanaian prints and durable faux leather. 

Josh and I have worked together to carefully design each piece, sometimes staying up to the wee morning hours sketching out designs and making calls to Ghana, all while our baby and inspiration 

slept. 

As our dream begins, we are starting small, but our goals are huge.
Right now we have just two very talented artisans working with us to create our designs but as we grow our company we want our talented two to teach their trade to other employees who are in need of a job- particularly mothers working hard to support their family.
Then not only do we want to teach our artisians a trade but also dream of building a school to provide education to them and their children. All this while also helping  to support our family as we grow this company together.
Wether or not this dream grows from a small Etsy shop to a vital school in Ghana really is yet to be seen but the journey thus far has been amazing and were excited ti finally share it with you!

Mix is a mix of culture, of people, of countries, materials, families, goals, and dreams, all coming together to create something beautiful for you and families around the world.

We really hope you'll join us on our dream. https://www.etsy.com/shop/MixHandmadeShop

xoxo

Abby, Josh & Isla 

Q&A

Photography // Saudalia Dress + choker // Wight Gold use code: ABBY15

_____________ Q&A _____________

I often get messaged, or asked in person, many similar questions so I decided to do a little Q&A about our family. (I also threw in some random get to know me questions too)

Q: where are you guys from? 

A: I'm from the United States and Josh is from Ghana, West Africa (I'm sure he was the one you were really interested in anyway 😉) 

Q: how tall are you? 

A: I'm a little over 5ft. and Josh is a couple over 6 ft. -so it makes for difficult selfies together haha

Q: How did you two meet?

A: we initially met through our mutual good friend (Detroit Lions NFL player, just in case anyone is a fan haha). Josh had been best friends with him for years and I had become friends with him after being lined up on a blind date- while Josh was serving an LDS mission in Detroit. When Josh came home, he introduced us to each other and encouraged Josh to ask me out!  

(disclaimer: I'm not a huge fan of some of these questions, but I want to answer them because I know most people mean well and are just trying to understand)

Q: How did your parents react when you and Josh got engaged- you know, with him being from Africa...?

A: (I hold back a sarcastic remark, and smile) 

My parents didn't really care that he is from Africa. They only cared if he was going to be a good husband for me. At very first, (like first 2 months of dating) they were a little bit interested in the challenges that cultural differences might bring... Then we dated for about a year and half and they got to know him, and his character, and they really grew to love him. I guess I could say they "approved"- but it was my decision anyway. 

Q: is it difficult to be married to someone who grew up with such a different culture than you?

A: honestly, if you think about it, every marriage is made of two people who grew up differently from each other and who brings their own "culture" into their marriage. Which is exactly why marriage is about coming together to create your own new family dynamic. 

I have to admit, there are some things that come up for us that I never thought I'd have to discuss with my future spouse because they just seemed so common and normal to me while growing up in America. 

Like: will we celebrate Santa? Or how do you pronounce "hippopotamus"?

But seriously, there's things and differences we definitely work through, and compromises we make, but I honestly love having another culture apart of our home! Especially having spent a lot of time in Africa myself, I have a love and idea of where he's coming from! 

Overall, we dated long enough to know what we were getting into, and have enough love and respect for each other that it's not something we have to think about everyday.

Q: (similar question. It makes me sad that I still get this question ALL the time)

"hi, Abby! I am dating a black guy that I really love but my parents don't approve because of the color of his skin. How were you able to get your parents to approve? Or what can I do to help my parents be more open minded?"

A: First off, I have to say that no matter anyone's race or color there is a certain amount of respect that needs to be earned. If your boyfriend is treating you well, being honest, kind, and a truly a good person, I would hope your parents could naturally come to "approve"- that is for people who have an open heart. 
Unfortunately, if your parents are truly racists that's a different problem. At that point I say love who treats you right, and if he treats you right, don't rely on your parents approval. They need to work through their issues on their own-and I've seen it happen- but first you need to be the better person and continue to love both them and your boyfriend- praying they will eventually have their hearts softened and come around.

Q: what religion do you belong to?

A: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon) 

Q: what's your favorite restaurant?

A: I can never decide but probably Bombay House right now! (Indian) 

Q: how many countries have you traveled to? 

A: not counting airport stops, 14: Bahamas, Canada, Cayman Islands, Ethiopia, Ghana, India, Kenya, Mexico, Nepal, Netherlands, Rwanda, Uganda, United Kingdom, United States

Q: will you guys make a YouTube channel?

A: I'm surprised to have this question asked a lot because we are really not very exciting! But we've thought about it... I need ideas though!? 

Q: AANNNDD the #1 most asked question...

How do you pronounce your last name? 

A: I wish I could put a recording on here! but in my mind, the best way to write out how it sounds would be: "bwah-hin" 

Let me know if I've missed anything! 

And feel free to leave a Q&A about yourself as well! I'd love to get to know you! 

Nostalgia

Photography // Xan Craven 

I don't know why I have this obsession with nostalgia. I love looking back on memories and thinking about the way that life unravels it's mysteries in the most unexpected ways. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

I'm a very nostalgic person and often drive my husband crazy with "remember when's" but... 

I remember when I used to pray for my future husband. Particularly when I was 16, and being married was a fantasy. I used to pray that whoever my future husband may be, wherever he was, that he would be blessed through what he was going through and that he would be prepared for me one day. 

I never would have guessed that at that time my future husband was thousands of miles away in a country I knew nothing about, and working so hard to come here. And if we had met right then we probably wouldn't have wanted anything to do with each other.

But years and experiences later, we would meet at the exact right time, with the exact right experiences behind us.

At 16, I didn't fully grasp the ups and downs and work that comes with even a wonderful marriage, but I know now that those make a marriage even more sweet. 

And even with all of them, he's still everything I prayed he would be.

Happy two years  

Babe, your "someday" is today

Photography// JosephandMaria Jacket// Pinkblush Sweater// PinkBlush

When I was little I dreamed of what it would be like when I was a teenager. When I became a teenager I wanted to be out of high school and in college....

It's now been only just a few years ago that I was sitting in my college apartment, after what seemed like years of heartbreak, and dreaming of my "someday" when I was married and having kids.

It's crazy to think that now, here I am, living that, "someday" but still somehow find my self thinking about the next.

Today is "someday"

And what a dream it really is.

“Forever is composed of nows.”

― Emily Dickinson

The Old Me

Photography// Xan Craven

Today I'm missing this. Now a summer/fall has come and gone and I wasn't even able to go up to my haven in the mountains and ride my horse-- because I'm a new mom and it's just not practical. 

But that's Okay.

Went to Target the other night, with Isla of course, for the first time since giving birth. I had to stand awkwardly at the back of the women clothing section as I fed her a bottle of pumped breast milk. 

I remember just a few days prior talking with a friend about how when you have a baby it feels like you loose your whole self. Your life no loner belongs to you anymore but to your baby. Everything you do is planned around her. If you want to go somewhere you have to take her too, or find a sitter, you have to get her ready, and make sure she's well fed, you have to pack a bag full of all the necessities, and then you have to plan whatever you're doing to be shorter than you normally would.

Talking about this made us both a little frustrated because it's true and depressing when you say it out loud.

But flash forward back to Target, interrupted only minutes in, and there I was holding Isla in my arms and feeling probably more happy and content than I'd ever felt shopping before. My life has become so much different and it has been such a sacrifice in every way, but I still love having her around. I love that I now have this new friend to show the world to. I kind of love that I'm never alone right now because I know she'll grow up too fast and one day she won't be right by my side. 

I can't wait for next year when she can come with us to the ranch and experience the magic I grew up with for herself!

Yes, you do lose your whole self when becoming a mother but you also find yourself too. You find that watching her make new memories is the greatest memory you'll ever have. 

xo

Abby 

Isla's birthday: an honest story

{For memories sake}

I've never read anyone else's "birth story" so I don't blame you if you don't read mine either, but I imagine they all sum up to something like this: "it was one of the hardest things I've ever done (or maybe it was easy for them?) but the best day of my life"

Well I'm just going to start by saying that I honestly did not think it was one my best days, at least not till now. 

Even writing that makes me feel a sense of guilt but it's the truth. Only NOW can I look back on it with a different perspective. 

It was the Tuesday of the last week of July, I was 4 days overdue, when we went in for a checkup to see about possibly getting induced later that week. I was up all night worrying about what the doctor would say and got maybe only a few hours of sleep. Tired, we woke up early to go to the appointment and skipped breakfast to be there on time. Josh took work off so he could come with. 

We got there and went straight to an ultrasound. As the doctor glided the instrument over my stomach we couldn't see much of anything on the screen above. The doctor was quiet and when we asked him questions he'd avoid the question, as doctors seem to always do when something is wrong. I started to feel anxious. I couldn't sit still when we went in to the waiting room to go into the next test. I started to feel light headed which might have also been due to the fact that I hadn't eaten or had in anything to drink in the past twelve hours. I was already exhausted but I just kept thinking, "it's fine everything will be ok. You can go home after this and eat and get some sleep before you'll ever have to give birth."

Then my doctor came in and sent me to do a non stress test. They sat me down and I immediately asked for some water. They hooked me up to the machine and went to go get me something to drink. The monitor tracked my first contraction and so before they even had time to come back, my doctor was in the room sending me to the hospital for delivery. 

Isla's heart rate had plummeted with the first contraction.

What had been a relatively easy breezy pregnancy had now become a chance for emergency c section- which also meant no food or water for me.

As we walked into the hospital I felt nothing but absolute fear. Not even an ounce of excitement. I was breathing heavily and my voice shook as I called my mother to tell her about the news, I felt like crying but told myself to be strong. Josh held my hand as we walked in.

As I got hooked up and poked in a million places I thought about how unprepared I felt both mentally and absolutely physically. I had hoped for this to be so different. I had hoped for warning signs so I could be prepared. But here I was about to have a baby in what seemed like the worst of circumstances. All I could hope is that it would go quickly so I could have at least a little strength- but there was no hope in that.

I started at 4cm dilated but 3 hours later had only dilated half a centimeter more. Each time they checked me was more pain. Which meant every time any nurse or doctor walked in my whole body automatically started shaking with fear of what was to come next. More poking, more needles, more news of nothing, or worst news that I had to push- that scared me more than anything. 

And so I laid there in fear, starving and exhausted- but not sleeping- until 16 hours later, when, at 3am on Wednesday, the doctor came in to tell me it was time.

I had laid there for so long I felt like I needed more of a warning than that but it was like a starting gate at a race- going from zero to one hundred.

Even from the very first push I didn't know how I would have to the strength or energy to push again but it was only the beginning. Isla was turned the wrong direction and had continually flipped back when the doctor tried to turn her. I was starting out with already a pretty bad tear and some bad bleeding but I wish the doctor hadn't have told me that- and I made that known to her haha.
All I could be grateful for was the fact that I had an epidural, Isla's heart rate had steadied, and was only feeling some pain and pressure at this point.

Every push felt like the hardest work out I had ever done in my life. Between them I would lie back and just want to sleep... or die, I couldn't tell which one but I know I've never felt that exhausted before in my entire life. 

And then I would open my eyes and hear the doctor telling me to give more.
To give more than the 150% I was already giving- but I couldn't imagine how. 

I think I even cried out the words, "I can't do this!" several times.

But somehow I kept doing it. 

And kept praying for help. 

Two hours in to what already seemed like endless pushing and pain, with not any progression to motivate me, my doctor told me she was going to turn off the epidural.

I know some women are super tough but that was the one thing I was ALWAYS sure about, I wanted an epidural. Even thinking about her turning it off made me shake with fear even more than I already was. I couldn't imagine how I could endure more of this with that kind of pain. I begged her not to turn it off but she did. It was that or an emergency c section because I needed to feel more to get her out. (C section at that point sounded kind of nice but something so deep inside of me still wanted to do it on my own, even if it meant more pain.)

And so for two MORE hours I pushed, this time screaming with each contraction. All the nurses and doctor kept telling me how strong I was being but I felt SO weak. 

I do not know how I kept going, I still can't understand it today.  

Just when I felt like there was no hope of her ever coming out, my doctor told me to push harder than I ever had before- she was coming. 

She told me one last push. 

So with every inch of my body I gave it one last effort and PUSHED.

As I felt her legs moving down and out of me she suddenly stopped. The pain was unbearable. I was screaming and my eyes were closed, I didn't even see my doctor push the emergency button calling for more nurses to come running in!

Next thing I know they were all on top of me. Four grown women all pushing down on my stomach as hard as they could while the doctor was trying to pull Isla out.

I couldn't even watch what was happening I was just screaming "I can't breathe!" As they pushed down on me. I had no idea what was happening but I knew it wasn't good.

I felt her get tugged out and before I could even catch a glimpse, she was gone. Being thrown around in a corner I couldn't see, trying to get her to breathe.

I was sobbing uncontrollably. I kept asking, "Is it over? where is she?!"
But the pain didn't stop and no one answered.
I started to yell, "where's my baby, where's my baby!" Sobbing trying to get someone to at least acknowledge me and tell me what was going on.

It was like a movie, like I was out of my body looking around trying to find her. I had no shame in screaming and crying, nothing on my mind but her.

And then suddenly I could hear Josh's voice. I remember everything going silent as I looked at him and noticed him kneeling there by my side, holding my hand, trying to talk to me and calm me down. There were tears in his eyes. 

I couldn't hear what he was saying but I remember suddenly having a shift of focus and thinking so clearly,
"I'm so glad I chose you. I would choose you over again and again. I will always choose you."

I was so grateful that it was him, there by my side, at a time I needed him the most.

And then she finally came and was laid on my chest. I don't remember if she was crying or not because I crying too hard myself. I held her and was so grateful for her to be alive and in my arms. I couldn't believe it was actually over, I had actually given birth to her. 

Unfortunately it wasn't exactly over. From that point on comes even more pain. Any women who has given birth knows what I'm talking about. The doctors coming in every hour to push down on your stomach to push the remains out. For me the unbearable exhaustion and pain from a third degree tear since she had come out facing the wrong direction. And now you have to take care of a newborn baby. The pain and exhaustion was beyond miserable. Beyond my wildest of dreams terrible. But somehow I did it.

We were in the hospital for a week as Isla was recovering from a bad case of jaundice. And the next two weeks were hell trying to recover from all of that. I was so depressed, and so tired, and feeling so sick- I couldn't even eat, with no opportunity to sleep.
But I loved her regardless and that seemed like a miracle to me. I never knew I could love so much.

So only now, now that I've spent countless hours holding  her in my arms until she falls asleep, and now because we've studied each others every detail of our faces.
And now because I know what it feels like to see her smile. And now because I finally know it was all worth it.
NOW I can look back on that  day with such gratitude that she is here and that I did it. Now I can say it was the best day of my life because it brought me her. 

It's crazy to be so grateful for such a painful experience. I honestly thought I never would be. But I'm so grateful for her and so grateful to know just how strong I really am. Grateful to understand what a mother would and can do, even for their child they haven't even met yet. 

Sending my love to the victims of hate

As I wake up in the morning light I open my eyes and look beside me at my husband and fall in love again and again. I can reach out and touch his hand. His hand is different from mine. Much bigger, and stronger, and a different color from my own, but that's not apart of the thoughts I have.

 

I don't normally post things like this because I don't know if what I feel can be adequately conveyed or understood through my writing and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone. But I was awoken early this morning to thoughts about what I've seen circulating the Internet and the comments being made under them, and I could not fall back asleep. 

Such disturbing imagines make me worry about how to keep my family and friends safe but I also want to understand the full story. Just as we absolutely know that not 100% of people who are black are criminals we also need to remember that not 100% of cops are racist. 

Sometimes I feel I live in my own bubble of peace within my blended family, assuming that the rest of the world is too at peace. And then I am reminded, shaken back to reality that unfortunately this is still somehow not the case. I think about what we can do and I feel we only have one option and that is to progress, progress through love. 

Love on all sides, of all people, everyday. 

To recognize that there are faults and problems and sadly terrible people who need to be held accountable (of all races) but that we can't fall into the temptation to categorize or hate all of any group of people. 

I think he said it best:  "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: Only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr. 

The Nursery! For our {Half} African Princess

Wow! I can't even tell you the number of hours spent working on this nursery but the outcome is so worth it! I am in love with every detail. Not just because it's beautiful, but because behind almost every detail lies a story. 

As many of you know, I have spent a good part of my life traveling to Africa, starting clear back at age 17. I'm not sure why but I was always drawn to buying beautiful baby clothes and other items-- though I wasn't anywhere close to being married, let alone ready to have a baby! But something always drew me to them and I knew that one day I wanted to share Africa with my future children. {little did I know that she would actually be half African!} 

Along with every special item I collected, there is also the hand that put all the details together. My amazing and selfless Mother {interior designer} spent weeks bringing my dream to reality, really all the credit goes to her. Her love and service behind her work makes everything even that more meaningful. 

Truly everything she touches turns to gold. 

Interior Designer: Gaylynn Evans /// Artwork: Abby Buahin

I found this mobile while in Uganda. I remember debating wether or not I should buy two. I'm so glad I did!

This bed skirt is all custom made from the fabric my Mother-in-law sent me from Ghana. 

These paintings are done by me. They were supposed to just be practice doodles I did last year, but they ended up being perfect for this room!

The quilt on the chair is made from fabric I collected while in Ghana. 

This is filled with jewelry given to me by friends in: Ethiopia, Kenya, Uganda, and Ghana. 

The changing pad is covered in fabric given to me by the sweetest family my sister and I met in Ghana. They invited us to stay in their home and surprised us with bags full of beautiful fabric. 

Found these in Ethiopia and for a little twist, the tree is from India.